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EPISODE IN BRIEF
In today’s episode of Coaching Conversations, Nick and Chris break down the pros and cons of running a business with your life partner.
How do you maintain a healthy business pairing AND nurture your personal relationship at the same time? If your significant business-other is also a dear friend, are there lines and where do you draw them?
Maintaining business and personal relationships is never easy but there’s wisdom in experience, and Nick has coached hundreds of couples in this space – and seen many great duos flourish when balance is maintained.
It’s all good stuff so let’s get into it…
Time Code/Show Notes
0.26 Intro: Is your business partner your life partner? How challenging has this been for you both?
2.49 This ultra-important topic impacts more couples than you think. Business stress/financial stress will almost always test a good relationship.
4.37 The first element to understanding is to be clear that you’re wearing two hats. Nick says it is very important to acknowledge that our partners cannot possibly be everything to us – and nor should they.
In simple terms, when you’re at work, your business hat is firmly on; likewise, at home, you wear your home hat. If someone has to wear both; there is often resentment from the other partner.
7.56 The second point to observe is that both parties must have an end goal. What are you both working towards? Do you still have a shared common purpose? Otherwise, everything becomes Groundhog Day.
Understand your personal purpose but also understand the business objective and goals.
11.16 Every few months arrange a meeting to review purpose and energy. Do you both still have the same objectives? Do you need to reset goals… expectations… do you still get the same satisfaction?
14.41 If you are not working towards the same objective, things will start to come unstuck on site – and at home. You owe it to yourselves to stay the path on shared purpose or it WILL unravel.
17.30 Face conflict head-on. Immediately. If you don’t address it at work, it sure as heck will come up at home; and often more than once. This creates holes in trust and a fear of belittlement. If it can’t be addressed at work, it can become a free-for-all behind closed doors and this is toxic.
19.19 24 hour conflict resolution needs to happen; deal with it immediately and move on. Face facts, get home and leave emotion at the door. Retain your compassion. But know that talking through issues without emotion can often be the key to real resolution.
21.50 Much of the time, petty items can twist up the anxiety dial. The third piece of advice is this; Time together and time apart for “you’, is imperative.
22.32 You have to work hard to keep the joy in the relationship – the joy of seeing each other for the first time; hanging out, encouraging balance. Being with them – and being without them. That’s the swinging pendulum. Be comfortable with both.
25.20 Number four: stop talking shop when you get home. Don’t let your kids grow up thinking all Mum and Dad talk about is business.
28.20 Organise the final 15 minutes of your day to plan for the next day. This will ensure you feel at ease and prepared; therefore it will be easier to be ‘present’ with your children and partner. Train yourself to switch `off’ the business switch and turn `on’ the family switch.
31.00 How can Nick and Chris help you and your partner draw boundaries between work and personal life? Reach out to ask@upcoach.com.au
EPISODE SUMMARY
Finding it difficult to live and work with your life partner?
Firstly, remember you’re both wearing two hats. One is for home and one is for work. As far as possible, try not to wear two hats at once!
What’s your end-goal? Keep checking that your objectives are the same. And then check again.
Remember to nip conflict at the source. Don’t wait until you get home. This is a deal breaker.
Make time for “you” and make time for both of you to spend time together outside the work space.
And finally; STOP. TALKING. SHOP.
Relationships are tricky at the best of times but often a `re-focus’ is all that’s needed to ensure you’re both on the same page – at work and on the home-front.